Tag Archives: faith

Should I stay or should I go now???

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I have had that song racing through my head for days now.. I think it’s Gods way of telling me I need to decide if I should run away or stay strong.. Whether you want to admit it or not there are times you feel like conceding and going another route..

I’m terrible about telling you guys way to much about my personal struggles.. But, at the same time I hope that through these little (ok ok I know they are long) blog posts that someone is getting some kind of helpful information or advice & maybe even a sense of “Oh My!! I am not the only person struggling right now”..

It was brought to my attention today that I have an awful tendency to run from good and accept bad.. That doesn’t make any sense.. Why would someone walk away from something that is good for them to accept something that is clearly bad for them???

After several painstaking hours of contemplation I have come to this conclusion.. My fear of being hurt is covered up by accepting things I already know are going to let me down. If I go for what I know is bad I am slightly more prepared for the crash and burn.. If I let my guard down and go for the good the crash is 1000 times worse.. THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT ATTITUDE.. This is what gets me into trouble on a regular basis..

I find myself running from or pushing away healthy relationships and situations because I am afraid the outcome is going to be bad.. :-/ So instead I accept relationships and situations that I know most likely wont get me anywhere because it hurts less??? Oye!!

2 Timothy 2:23

Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.

2 Corinthians 7: 9-12

9 I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance ; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. 10 For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. 11 For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong ! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter. 12 So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the offender nor for the sake of the one offended, but that your earnestness on our behalf might be made known to you in the sight of God.

Wow!! Did you just read that?? READ IT AGAIN.. I’ll wait………………..

Maybe its just the way and the time that I read this and maybe someone is getting something completely different from these scriptures than I am.. But, to me this screams pain and trials serve a purpose in God’s ultimate plan.. Again I come to a place where I have to accept the fact I am not always right, my choices are not always perfect, and my heart is not always in the right place. OK read it one more time..

I have to ask myself if the long term pain of bad choices mainly in relationships in my case (friends, men, family, co-workers) is worse then the long term pain of a struggle to find happiness.. Oh I’m not sure I’m explaining this well…

If I am scared to get attached to someone or something for fear it is going to leave I am not truthfully following God’s plan.. 2 Corinthians 7:9-12 is telling me that if they leave or break or whatever the case may be it is only God’s will.. There is meaning and knowledge behind that pain.. (I hope this is making as much sense to at least one person as it is to me I definitely feel as though I am talking directly to someone)

I know where I have slowly picked up my fear of loss. I’m slightly cracked but realistic enough to know that over time I have built walls due to many circumstances.. People, pets, things don’t last forever… Becoming a recluse and hiding from these things hurts more in the long run.. God never intended for people to be alone. If he had we wouldn’t be capable of reproduction in any way shape or form..

I am making a promise to myself and to all of you to start breaking those walls to stop being afraid to live the life I want because I am afraid it won’t last. I wish I could promise that also meant no more bad decisions ever but that is impossible..

I challenge you (yes you!! Your the one still reading) to pick out your highest wall and begin to knock it down.. Find what you are hiding behind and step out of the comfort zone.. Be the you God wants you to be.. The you that has potential to do anything you set your prayer to..

Dear God,
I come to you with fear, with fear of losing people and things that are important to me. I come with the realization that I am holding myself back from your plan.. Lord I have seen loss more times than I would like to admit or count. I have lost friends, family, possessions, and Love!! Through these losses I have gained knowledge and strength but also fear. Lord help me to extinguish the fear. Hold me as I stone by stone tear the walls down. Give me the courage to climb my wall so that I may see the good on the other side. Father I know I am not the only one praying this prayer. Please let this rambling of a sinner bring comfort to those who need your message. And Thank you oh God Thank you for all you show me through everyday life and prayer and scripture.. Thank you for all that you do.

In your name I pray,

Amen!!

Create Great!!

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I’m a procrastinator (it’s genetic)!! I make plans for all these wonderful things that “I am going to do tomorrow”.. My goal this winter and spring is to drought proof some of my yard. I’m not gonna lie with a new baby and starting a new business I can’t afford to water this huge yard and keep it green. But, I refuse to let it just be another plain dead lawn in town. I love outdoors and I love plants. This was my Grandparents yard. When they were still capable it was one of the prettiest yards in town.

My first summer here I was determined to help get this yard back in order I mowed I started working in one of the smaller gardens in the yard. I hand tilled the entire area, added fresh soil, and planted Hostas (one of my favorite plants). I can grow Hostas I have done it multiple times, no problem.. People told me they were hard to grow in this soil but I had FAITH, even if I had to replant them every year that space was going to be Hostas.. My Hostas started growing beautifully.. I was however still fighting back weeds. I checked on them daily, sometimes multiple times a day. They were growing..

I’m not sure where I was that day, but I came home and a family that has been friends of our family for many years had come and mowed the lawn being the sweet, loving family they are.. I was so grateful they had done it. While I was looking at the beautiful job they had done I looked over at my newly growing Hostas only to notice, what had been a masterpiece to me, looked like no more than weeds to them.. My poor little Hostas had been whacked.. :(

I must admit I pouted a little.. Oh how hard I had worked to get them going.. So for a few days I walked around thinking how much I had wasted my time.. I was so grateful to these people for helping, but so sad to see my work destroyed. I like to torture myself sometimes so I gave in and walked back out to the garden a couple days later only to find my Hostas were still fighting to survive.. I guess their faith was better than mine. So I picked up my chin and started caring for those plants again. I watered them, I fed them, and  I weeded around them. They were thriving again.. They still weren’t huge and beautiful but they were surviving.. My faith grew.. I just new that by fall I would big beautiful Hostas in my little garden.

Now I never said anything to the family that had so kindly cleaned up the yard. I didn’t want them to feel bad because they were definitely doing me a huge favor.. They new I had a lot on my plate and were merely being good friends.. (to be honest I kinda hope they never read this post. LOL!!)

Just a few weeks later I came home to find them working diligently in the yard again.. My first thought was oh no!! Not my Hostas.. So I wandered over to say hello (really to check on my plants) and yet again they were gone.. I was heart broken. Again, I said nothing to them because I knew they were only lending a helping hand and it was kinda my fault for not saying anything the first time..

I will admit I lost all faith in growing those Hostas in that garden.. I lost all faith in the front yard at all.. I quickly began focusing on cleaning up the back yard..

I have been in and out of this house now for almost 3 yrs. I have managed to kill every plant I have planted. (I’m not from West Texas so I’m still working on my niche) This year I find myself determined to fix this yard up. Not only to make it require less water, but to put my touch on what is now mine and my sons home. I have plans for walkways, and structures for a rock garden, and many other DIY projects..

My faith has been renewed by a single plant I threw in a pot 2 summers ago. I have many favorite breeds of plants. Hostas (which I may never attempt to grow again), Orchids, (which I need an extremely good green house for.. Working on that but it will be a year or so), and Succulents (hens and chicks, Sedums Cactus, things of that nature). This plant that has renewed my faith just happens to be a Hen and Chick I picked up for I believe $1.50 2 yrs or so ago.. It is the only plant I have managed to keep alive and make flourish since I got here.

This year I have faith that I can build a rock garden and plant succulents and sedums and play away. I know the risks of them not making it through the winter. But I have faith that I can make my garden grow. With a little bit of faith and a little bit of work I will build my garden. Just you wait and see..

Part of the reason I am telling you this story is because I am a procrastinator!! If I tell the world I will do it I don’t have a choice.. LOL!!

Matthew 17: 20

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Mark 9:23

“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.”

John 11:40

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

Proverbs 13:4

The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.

Dear God,

 I come to you for a multitude of reasons this day. Lord my faith is at times weak. Forgive me for forgetting that with the faith of a mustard seed I can too can move mountains. In this case weeds and rocks. Lord I know I am often sloth like, putting off the things I should and want to do. Forgive me for taking tomorrow for granted. Lord I know that often times you speak and I don’t listen. Forgive me for being selfish.. Thank you for using my trials and stories to bring comfort to others. Thank you for showing me that even this Yankee can grow in West Texas, not just in the garden but also in faith and spirit. I guess what I am saying is forgive me of all my trespasses and Thank you for all the blessings you pour upon me each day, each hour, each moment, and each breath.

In your name I pray,

Amen

Simon, the Cyrene

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From the shadow of the cross, when Jesus was crucified, many watched – in amazement, in horror, in confusion.  This is a narrative that imagines what Simon might have thought and felt.

 

32 As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross. 33 They came to a place called Golgotha (which means “the place of the skull”). – Matthew 27:32-33

 

Simon, the Cyrene

When I stood in the shadow of the cross, I was exhausted. Yet, I found myself ignoring the groans of my body and remained there, on the hill.

            A few hours earlier, I had been standing on the street, watching a distressing scene of three men carrying their crosses, walking to their deaths.  I didn’t know what their crimes had been and I didn’t care. 

            A young boy in front of me was mocking the three, especially the man walking in the rear.  He was struggling with his cross and I could see why.  His back was bloodied and his face was swollen.  He wore a crown of thorns on his head.  No wonder blood was dripping down his face.

            There was a woman to my left.  Amidst her tears, she was talking about his having healed her.  We had heard the talk about a man who healed.  Was this him?

            When the men to be crucified reached our point in the street, the man in the back stumbled under the weight of his cross.  The crowd gasped and all was silent as he struggled to regain his grip, but the cross was too heavy and the man’s body was too injured. 

            Soon the crowds resumed their mixture of cries and taunts.  And then, one of the soldiers turned to look at the crowd.  I wondered if he intended to silence them, but his eye fell on me and as he reached through the onlookers and pulled me from the crowd, I felt my knees buckle.  What did he want with me?

            And then I knew – I was to help carry the cross of the bloodied man.  I couldn’t say, “no”. 

            As I reached the man, I looked into his eyes.  Despite the tortuous path he had traveled, there was amazing strength within his gaze and I took energy from that. 

            When I shouldered the cross, I expected him to pull back and let me do the work, but it seemed as if he was able to find some reserve.  Together we carried that cross, sharing the load.

            In those first steps, I could only think of completing this task I had been forced to take and quietly slipping away once my job was done.  Yet, when I found myself in the shadow of the cross, I couldn’t leave. 

            I found strength in his shadow and that power remained with me the rest of my life. 

            I thought I shared his burden that day and yet, somehow, I knew, he had taken all of mine.

 

Prayer:  Loving God, we never know when life will call us to help someone shoulder their burden.  Grant that we may see the need and willingly step up to be the support that might be so needed.  We ask this in the name of Jesus, who calls us all to take up our cross and follow Him.  Amen.

Rev. Dawn Carlson

Random thoughts from the Advent Journey

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As the title says these will be random thoughts:

Have you ever seen how God is able to use the least expected vessels for His mission? An unwed mother, from Nazareth (“Can any good thing come from Nazareth?”), a stable in a small town called Bethlehem not to mention a killer of His people named Saul, later known as the Apostle Paul.

Have you ever noticed that God’s view of people isn’t always ours? Shepherds in the field chosen as the first to receive the news of Christ birth, instead of the priest and kings.

Gentile, wise men, led by a star the first to give Him gifts.Jesus’ willingness to eat with tax collectors and sinners, even His chosen disciples were fishermen and tax collectors not priests or scribes.

Have you ever noticed that where God needs us isn’t always a comfortable place? A mother about to deliver in a stable, taking a young child and running to Egypt to save His life, Paul and Silas in Jail, Jesus on the cross.

Have you noticed that fulfilling God’s will often requires a difficult journey?  Mary and Joseph’s journey of about one hundred miles from Nazareth to Bethlehem, the wise men’s coming from the east, Paul’s ship wrecked missionary journey, the children of Israel from Egypt to the promised land, Jesus’ journey to the cross and our journey of course from sinner to saint.

Now for a confession, every time we sing, one of my favorite Christmas Songs, “Silent Night” or “O Little Town of Bethlehem” I have trouble seeing the place as silent or still. An uncomfortable crowd, forced to travel with no place to stay, there to pay a burdensome tax imposed on them from a foreigner, you know they were talking loudly with each other. Not to mention the family reunions taking place with loud greetings and memories and catching up. It’s no wonder the people in Bethlehem didn’t come running to the stable they were distracted with the every day things of life. My prayer for myself and everyone else is that we may not be distracted this Advent Season but that God will gain our attention and we will see “The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world” as the shepherds and wise men did.

One last thought, of course He called shepherds He had a very special Lamb to be watched over.

By Rev Bill Rafuse

Pondering on Christmas

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Every house was full with families gathered together, many for the first time in years. Loud discussions could be heard, some about the cost and danger of the journey. Others upset with the politicians and the new taxes they had just imposed. Late comers had trouble finding a place to rest tired bodies. So as evening came many slept,others tossed and turned and still others hurried about town seeking a place to sleep.

Bearded men set at a table,heads covered in a heated debate about how to keep the Lord happy with such difficulty keeping the laws. “Did you see those in stables with unclean animals?” “Yes and not enough water for all to bathe properly!” “Who will minister to them with most of the priest in other towns?” “Counting the number of gentile merchants who have come in for the profit is impossible.” “Nothing good could ever come of this mess, boy am I glad we live right and have nothing to fear.” “Those poor tribes of Ishmael in the East, and the lower class like the shepherds in the fields have no hope of pleasing the Messiah when he comes.” Head coverings straightened, robes hitched tighter, and sandals tied they leave for the comfort of the places their power and wealth afford.

Thirty years later some of those bearded men came together again and questioned the story of this man from Nazareth, something about Bethlehem during the tax, they were there and nothing of importance happened that they knew of.

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them.”(Luke 2:8-9a) You know the rest of the story. “Magi from the east came” (Matthew 2:1) finish the story you know it.

Christmas has a gift for us all, not just the great gift of God’s son, but the assurance that God is a God of His word and even in times of difficulties, even when we are in situations were a blessing from God would seem impossible, and even if we don’t see it at the time, God does, has and always will keep his promises. Galatians 4:4 tells us that “In the fullness of time”, when God decided, “Christ came to earth”.God chooses the time to bless not based on what we see, think or fear but on His Amazing Grace.

By: Rev Bill Rafuse

Another’s Son

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“…he did what the angel of the Lord commanded him…” – Matthew 1:24

 

     Christmas Eve is always an interesting time in our home.  Between the last-minute packing for a Christmas Day trip, the rush to get a few more presents under the tree, the quick trek to extended family celebrations and the candlelight service that ends the day, we still manage to have time for our immediate family.  During the mad dash to get it all done, I always seem to find myself leaning up against a doorway watching my wonderful son and his stepfather as they discuss whatever activity is coming next.  It’s a scene that fills my heart with love, joy and grateful thanks.

     It is no easy task to raise a son.  And it’s doubly difficult when that child is not your own.  Nonetheless, millions of men and women seem to accomplish this with a care that matches the most devoted of biological parents.

     For Joseph this duty was magnified as he dedicated himself to the physical care and upbringing of the Son of God.  What an amazingly daunting task that must have been!  And yet, even in the few Biblical references we see that Joseph accepted this undertaking as a treasured gift from God and accomplished it with integrity, honesty and love.  Joseph stood arm-in-arm with God here – the earthly parent of God’s child.  And in doing this, he stands as a parenting example to us all. 

 

Prayer:  Loving God, may the gift of our children be treasured above all earthly gifts.  Open our hearts to the example of Joseph and the guidance of Your grace and wisdom through the Holy Spirit.  Grant that we, too, may stand arm-in-arm with You in the raising of our children and help us to guide them to the sure knowledge of the One who makes all things possible.  Amen.

By: Rev. Dawn Carlson

The waiting on the Lord is never a passive activity

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“While I’m waiting, I will serve You…while I’m waiting, I will worship…while I’m waiting, I will not faint, I‘ll be running the race, even while I wait!”  I sat down to ponder the theme of advent and immediately this song came to mind.  Advent is a time of waiting BUT also a time of preparation.  The waiting on the Lord is never a passive activity.

Think of Mary, as she waited for the birth of God’s son.  I am sure she was extremely nervous about the events that would take place every step of the journey.  Yet, she did not become inactive.  She told the angel, “Let it be unto me as you have said!” She then went and informed her family.  She even travelled a great distance to meet with her cousin, who might be able to share some advice about what God was doing through her.

Many Israelites had waited years for the arrival of the Messiah.  They also waited actively.  They did not stop worshipping when the Messiah failed to appear.  They did not lose faith in the God who had promised to redeem them from their situation.  They continued to follow the ways of God WHILE THEY WAITED.

How many of us pray for God to bring deliverance of some kind and then sit back and passively wait for His answer?  How many of us grow angry when God does not answer us quickly enough, because we are tired of waiting?  How many of us encourage others while they wait, yet cannot relieve themselves of their own despair in the waiting?

 Isaiah 40:31 states:  “…but those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” There seems to be a great deal happening in the lives of the believer who waits on the Lord.  Strength and energy, unknown to the believer before, begin to emerge.  Those who wait on the Lord no longer seem to be weary from the anticipation!

As we enter the season of Advent, you may find yourself praying for those things which you have long-awaited.  You may find yourself thinking, “God, it has been so long waiting on you to bring that which I have prayed for…”  But have you done any preparation for that which God may bring your way?  Have you spent time in the Word allowing God to penetrate you with His wisdom?  His wisdom and guidance are essential in preparing for that which you await!  Maybe God has been trying to answer the longing of your heart and you simply missed it by sitting back and wondering why He has not yet moved?

You all know the story of the man who prayed for God to save him in the flood.   A raft, a boat, and a plane all came by to offer rescue.  The man turned them all down because he was waiting on God to save him.  What amazing things have you missed by sitting back and “waiting” on God to act on your behalf?  The song shouts out to us, “I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience…while I’m waiting!”  Are you moving ahead with obedience, or have you taken up residence in your Lazy Boy, all the while wondering, where is God?

By: Sheri Koyles

Do You Have Any Room?

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“She wrapped Him in cloths and placed Him in a manger because there was no room in the inn.” Luke 2:7 (NIV)

Senior moments seem to come more often these days, why just this morning I had one. As usual the phone rang when I was doing something, this time pouring a cup of coffee,

I put the pot back on the coffee maker and answered it, while talking I decided I would pour myself a cup of coffee and proceeded to pour coffee into an all ready full cup, you got it a 2 paper towel mess.

Ever had one of those Christmases where the Christ child doesn’t seem to bring what you expect to your day? You know what I mean the real meaning doesn’t seem to arrive for you.

Could it be that your heart is like my morning coffee cup all ready filled, with less important things like; will they like what I got them, will I get what I really want that new cell phone that does everything, that new laptop or whatever. Is your heart and mind busy like the inn entertaining others while Christ waits to come in and touch your life in marvelous ways?

Try taking a part of everyday this Advent season to empty your mind of the commercial side of Christmas and focus on that wonderful miracle of Christmas. A holy righteous God loved me enough to come to a humble stable and extend his amazing grace to me a sinner.

Dear Lord please help me to see you in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the season. Help me to receive the gift of your amazing grace in its fullness. Realizing we have received the greatest gift already. Amen

By: Rev. Bill Rafuse

 

It’s Life!

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Philippians 4:12-13 states “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” 

These passages are a sobering reminder that life most definitely has its ups and downs.  Sometimes the blessings seem to flow endlessly, and other times there seems to be no end to troubles.
I have lived a lot of places in my 18 years of marriage.  Each place has offered varying experiences.  As a family, we have journeyed through days of fear, and days of peace.  Sometimes we would wonder how we would pay the next bill, and other times we would struggle to make sure we wisely used the “plenty”.  We had times where we lived near extended family and encountered both the blessings and the hardships that come with togetherness.  We have also had times where we lived far away from family and longed for the days when we would see them again.  There have been days where emotional distress seemed it would rob our family of joy forever.  Then there have been times when our home is overflowing with joy.  I am sure many of you could look back over your past and see the same up and down pattern.
Recently, the Philippians passage was noted in my devotional book.  For some reason it struck me on that particular day like it never had before.  I had lived through want and plenty, just like Paul, but could I say I had learned to be content in both circumstances?  The answer reverberated in my mind like a freight train…NO I HAVE NOT LEARNED TO BE CONTENT!!  I immediately felt ashamed to be in the presence of the God who had given up everything for me.  How could I expect more when he had been so generous already?!  God has always provided for my family, yet I was living in a state of expecting the “plenty” all the time!
I would like to say that, after pleading forgiveness from our Father, I immediately learned the secret of being content, but that would be a lie.  I still struggle with this “secret” ever y day.  My family is still in, what most would say, an unstable position with jobs and finances.  We still do not know how long we will wait for my husband to have a full-time job in his profession.  We still live wondering when we might have to move next.  Through all the uncertainty, one thing remains true, “we can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens us!”  God has always provided when the need is most pressing.  We are so thankful for the generous people He has allowed us to be surrounded by.  His strength does carry us through things we never imagined being able to wade through.  It is time to stop wondering when our lives will get better, or when things will finally be secure because we miss so much “living” that is going on now.  We cannot live for later.  We cannot live in anticipation of the “plenty”.  We must instead listen as God whispers the secret of being content, in our ear…My child, “you can do all things through my Son who gives you strength.”

Sheri Koyles

Lesson from the changing leaves!!

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I Corinthians 12:12+13“The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many; they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body.”

Lesson from the changing leaves

Watching the leaves of the trees around changing colors and remembering a song from my youth, I believed it was entitled “Master Designer”, I praise God that the same awesome, master artist who is painting the leaves with such beauty is the artist who is making us the church He wants us to be. .

  So many gifted people with so many different gifts brought together like the different colored leaves on each tree to make a place people can come and know our God. Each leaf is a different color, even the leaves with the same colors have different shades, just like each member has special gifts to add to our fellowship, those with similar gifts are different enough that each person is special.

   Paraphrasing Jeremiah 1:5“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a gifted person for my church.”  Traveling our tree-lined roads the most beautiful sights this time of year is a group of trees that are all different colors, red, yellow, orange, green and every shade in between.Churches with so many diverse people and gifts together not just in the physical sense but in a spirit and mission are just as beautiful and speak loudly of the work of the “Master Designer”.

  Jeremiah also says at one point: “I don’t know how to speak”, maybe we say at times we don’t know what to do for you, we must hear God’s words to Jeremiah, “I have put my word in your mouth”. Each gifted person, and everyone is gifted, has to listen to God’s word in the scriptures and do the work of encouragement and reconciliation to the others around using the gifts God has given and accepting the gifts of those around them.

 The beauty of this time of year would not be as grand if every group of trees was just one color its in the mixture that God’s true abilities are seen.

Rev. William Rafuse